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Big Ben Suspended – Pittsburgh is to Blame

I’m going at this from a different angle… (That’s what Ben probably said to that girl.)

The city of Pittsburgh should be ashamed.

Not of Ben, but of themselves.

When I think of Miami I think of hot women, when I think of Pittsburgh I think of ugly women. And it’s not Pittsburgh’s fault. The ones to blame here are the ugly people who chose to settle up North once it started getting hot in the South – They clearly were the ones who didn’t want to take their clothes off to show their ugly. THOSE are the people to blame here… from hundreds of years ago.

Yes, this is ridiculous.

And yes, It’s a little biased. But it’s true.

When I was in college we went to Panama City for Spring Break – every attractive female we met was from the South, every unattractive female we met was from the North. It’s Science.

So the city of Pittsburgh’s ugliness caused Ben to travel to smalltown Georgia to find a girl… unfortunately for Ben, outside the city of Pittsburgh nobody cares about him and not one of the thousands of ugly Pittsburgh women dying to have forced relations with him resides in Milledgeville, GA.

In all seriousness – I hope there wasn’t a victim in this.

Do I think he’s guilty? Partially. But he hasn’t been formally charged with anything. Do I think this is blown out of proportion? For now I do… the only details known are that he walked up to her with his penis in his hand. If anything, that’s kind of funny.

So here’s to Big Ben, or maybe Little Ben if we find out any explicit details.

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April 21, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,

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